It's really hard to find the perfect shade of white polish. My favorite one is (or was) Essie Marshmallow, but that's a jelly with kind of a crappy formula. What if you want to use a creme and you DON'T want your fingers to look like you painted them with Wite-Out? Enter OPI My Boyfriend Scales Walls.
I actually sort of feel like this one looks better in real life than in pictures. Also, sorry my cuticles might look a little shiny. I lotioned those bitches UP. Anyway, when you look at this polish by itself it just reads as white. But there's something different about it that makes it look less harsh, a little softer. That something is just a little drop of gray.
Here I'm holding a lint-roller handle that's white, and you can see how that pulls out the gray tones in the polish. Pretty sneaky, OPI.
I should mention, also, that the formula on this was incredible. I think we all know that whites, along with yellows, are notoriously streaky and gross to work with. This one was non-streaky and opaque in two coats. I recommend it. I think it's a good shade to have in your stash, and it seems unique to me.
God, I have so many things I want to write about today. The whole moving thing is coming along, unfortunately. I am so apprehensive about this moving-to-New-York event. And you know what pisses me off? If I share this apprehension with people (ie. "Are you excited?" "Actually I'm more nervous than excited," etc.) they invariably say something like BUT ISN'T THIS WHAT YOU WANT? Okay, listen. I am uprooting my ENTIRE LIFE and moving to A HUGE CITY I am UNFAMILIAR WITH where I don't know ANYONE. You try it, okay? You try doing what I'm doing. You try being more excited than nervous. Yes, on some level, this is what I want. At this point I think it's like, well, I have this opportunity to go and do this thing I've always wanted to do. And I'm scared. But I can't really let that stop me, can I? I will always regret it if I don't try, won't I? The thought has been in my head lately that maybe my goals are too lofty. So I get a PhD, and then what? What if I can't find a job and this is all for nothing? What if this, what if that.
Honestly, I've never felt more alone. I've been moving out of this apartment by myself, little by little, with no offer of help from my family (Ben has offered, but he works during the day, and I also have this issue of not wanting to be a burden to him). And also, I was talking to my dad two weeks ago and he said something like:
Dad: Blah blah blah, when we're in Scotland...
Me: When you're...when you're where? When?
Dad: We're going to Scotland right after you move. Didn't you get the e-mail?
Me: BLINK BLINK
Maybe this is completely and utterly childish, but in the car on my way home that night I freaked out. First, my parents are going to Europe and will likely be unreachable after I move if I need them because I'm in this new place and I'm alone. Second, the fact that they're going to a different continent didn't even merit a PHONE CALL to me? I get a flight itinerary via e-mail that wasn't even delivered to my inbox? What?
Then the other thing that people always ask goes something like this:
Them: Oh, you're moving to New York?
Them: That's a dangerous city.
Me: I've heard.
Them: So is your boyfriend moving with you?
Me: No, not right now.
Them: Oh, that's going to be hard.
Oh, REALLY? Yes, please rub it in. Please, let's talk about the fact that this person and I found each other against what seemed like monumental odds, and that now we have to be separated. Yes, that's what I'd like to talk about. No, no, don't let's talk about my career or anything. Let's talk about how my love life is going to be difficult. Perfect.
I'm sorry, guys. This whole situation is just mind-blowingly difficult. Maybe it's just the anticipation that's so difficult, and once I'm there it'll be better. I'm going in totally blind (haven't seen my apartment, my neighborhood, my school, anything). And the bright side is that my best friend Sam is in only in Boston, and she said she would come stay with me and help me get acclimated. And I miss her like crazy. So I have that silver lining.
Rory: We'll have two coffees and a rant meal please, extra cheese.
Lorelai: I'm through ranting. The rant is over. I'll have an acceptance meal with a side of fries.