Back to Reality

Oh, where to start.  Things have been hard.  After my grandma died there was the funeral to deal with, and the inevitable family semi-drama that happens when someone dies.  After the funeral things started to calm down a little.  I caught a cold from my dad (my poor dad has had so much to deal with on top of being sick) and was lying low with Ben.  Then one morning, eight days after my grandma died, Ben found out that his grandmother died.  Basically the entire month of January was one big tragedy.  My semester started last Monday and I was supposed to be back in New York the day before that.  But Ben and I decided that it would be best if I delayed my leaving and stayed with his family during his grandmother's funeral and burial.  So that's what I did.  I told him more than once during the two-day viewing/funeral/burial that I just couldn't bear to be in a room with grieving people anymore.  Because I myself am still grieving; it was so hard for me to see his family so sad and to know exactly what they were feeling.  It was like it amplified my own sadness.  

So, I got back to New York several days late, missed my first [Monday] class, but was back in time for my first [Friday] class.  This week will be, I'm assuming, very busy.  I start learning German and I'll start back up again at work.  Then there's the pile of reading that keeps getting bigger and bigger even though it's only the second week of school.  It was so weird coming back to the city.  I was gone for so long, and now it almost feels like I never left.  My apartment was just the way I left it when I rushed out of here on December 21st.  And now this small space feels so oppressive and unbearably lonely.  I'm trying not to think about that, but the same old what-am-I-even-doing-here thoughts all came rushing back as soon as my plane landed at LaGuardia and I was by myself again.

Aside from all of that, I have two polishes to show you.  The first is OPI Steady As She Rose, which I wore for a second time during the second funeral I attended.  I think that it's going to become a favorite polish in my stash.  The first time I wore it I really loved it, but this time I really loved it.  I kept it on for six days and only took it off because it was starting to chip.

*I'm sorry that all of the following photos are absolutely awful*

I had two pictures of this--one was blurry and one not blurry.  I accidentally deleted the not blurry one.  Whoops.  I took this in the car on the way to the cemetery.  Hence the carnation and rose.

I like Steady As She Rose because it's a chameleon.  Sometimes it looks very pink and sometimes it leans decidedly more neutral.  It's a two-coats-to-opacity polish with a lovely formula.  I brought my bottle back to New York with me, so I think it will probably go into heavy rotation this winter/spring.

The second polish is OPI The Spy Who Loved Me.  When I was in Columbus and Ben was working, and I decided to go get a little manicure.  I chose this OPI, but I think the topcoat the girl doing my nails used just did not agree with my body chemistry; the polish was chipping by the next morning.  Oh well.

blur for sparklies

It's just your basic red with gold shimmer, but it's nice.  I don't think I'd ever buy this one for myself.  I liked wearing it, though.  For the twelve hours that I got to wear it.

That's all for now.  I would like to post one more time this week, but I'll have to see how that goes and how much time I have.  Thanks, everyone, for all of your well wishes and condolences, and for being patient.  I really appreciate all of that.